Attitude (and Frustration)

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This will be a short post, because I have a massive exam tomorrow that I need to cram for.

I was driving home from an awesomely nostalgic day with some of my radio friends (more on that another time) earlier this evening and starting thinking about the week ahead of me.

I’ve been out of school for basically 2 full weeks, in and out of the ER with a migraine that just wouldn’t quit. In that time, I’ve missed all of my lectures (the migraine didn’t allow for me to deal with technology for extended periods of time, so Skype wasn’t an option), 4 hours of client sessions, 3 assignments, 3 progress reports, one exam for pediatric dysphagia, and one final for orofacial anomalies. Tomorrow there’s an exam for my preschool literacy class that I haven’t been to in two weeks. That class isn’t structured like most of the classes with that professor, so I have a hard time following along with the organization and flow of the lectures.

Anyway. I’m driving home and start reflecting on a conversation I had with my dad at 1am when I got home from work last night. We talked about school and the fact that my time at the university are drawing to a close, my desire to get out of the classroom and into the workplace, and my starting this blog and the whole Impostor’s Syndrome that led us here. The overall theme of the conversation was that attitude really is everything. If I start feeling sorry for myself, my insecurities and negativity are going to eat me alive. I pride myself on my ability to appear confident, even when I’m not. I need to start embracing that again, and feed off of it to make it a reality. I don’t want to appear confident, I want to be confident.

I was feeling really positive until I got home and saw that a test grade that had been entered online went from being a 92% to…significantly lower. I figured out that the professor at put the actual percentage as the total number of points, which made my grade much higher since the exam was out of less than 100 points. I guess the professor noticed that when she went back in and changed it, which is obviously the correct thing to do. But how devastating it is to think you got an A…and then it gets taken away from you. And it was the first exam for the class in which I’m taking the second exam tomorrow and am studying for tonight. So…confidence deflated, frustration initiated.

But attitude is everything. There is nothing I can do about that grade right now but everything I can do about the grade on the exam tomorrow. I can’t let poor results cloud the rest of my week. And it’s already 9pm, so I need to get this done with, get on with studying, and get to bed at a decent hour.

So my plan for this week (pending acceptance from all the professors involved) is to:

  • study my butt off tonight for this exam tomorrow and take it as it comes.
  • have killer sessions with my clients (my lesson plans before I was out with my migraine were awesome and I was really looking forward to my materials – I love teacherspayteachers.com)
  • make up some of my missed client time tomorrow & possibly Tuesday.
  • hand in my 3 assignments by Tuesday
  • write one progress report Tuesday
  • Make up my pediatric dysphagia exam Wednesday
  • Take my CPR practicum course Wednesday
  • Make up my orofacial anomalies final on Thursday
  • write one progress report Thursday/Friday

By the end of the week I’ll still have client time to make up, and that awful exam grade to deal with, but I really want to get back on track this week. I’m just scared of exhausting myself and bringing this migraine back on, so I need to make sure I pace myself, focus, and get enough sleep.

My friend (and biggest cheerleader/advocate for me right now) reminded me that I have 5 weeks to go in this semester. Then it’s on to externships. Wow.

Alright, guys. Positivity & focus. Let’s do this.

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