Alright, WordPress. Let’s do this. Let’s blog.
I’ve seen so many SLP grad students with super successful blogs and I think, “This is really cool. I should do this.” But they sound so smart. And so interesting. How do they know so much about the field that I don’t? Is it the university they went to? Should I be spending all my free time (what free time?) online networking and researching and blogging and wholly invested in the world of speech-language pathology? I’ve been putting off starting a blog for so long and for so many reasons…none of them very legitimate…I’m too busy, no one wants to read what I think, I’m not smart enough, I won’t be compelling enough, I’ll never follow through with it. All negatives about ME.
And so we run right into the title of this post…impostor syndrome. THAT is the real reason why I haven’t started a blog. This crippling self doubt I have that what I think and know isn’t enough. I have to give a shout out to a wonderful professor who found my tweet last night through the #slp2b & #slpeeps hashtags:
So, like any good grad student, I listened to @SAttsppeech. I did a quick Google search of “impostor syndrome.” The feeling of being undeserving of one’s successes and accomplishments. Feeling like a fraud or an impostor. The fear that one will be “found out.” Feeling inadequate around your peers. The overwhelming majority of the articles I read (which was well over a dozen) cited graduate students as the individuals most likely to be harboring these feelings.
I felt a little better after reading so many accounts of graduate students feeling like this (and after reading that it isn’t considered a mental disorder), so I saved my work, closed my Macbook, and went to bed.
I have less than 50 days of class left before I go out on my externship and I’m going to try as hard as I can to get out of this feeling of inadequacy before I go. Which leads us here. For NaBloPoMo (I think this is such a silly name for anything) I’m going to blog every day in November. I’m going to talk about my insecurities, but I’m also going to try to talk about my successes. I’m going to try to avoid the “I wonder if I even said anything in this post” (like I’m feeling right now) and “Do you guys even care?” I’m going to assume that if you’re here reading this, you care, and I’m getting my point across. I really do value feedback. I thrive from it. Any constructive criticism (or shared experiences) is appreciated in all areas – my blog writing, my clinical experiences, my life. Please share with me 🙂
- This article was the one I liked the most from my Google search: